Fandom: Super Junior
Summary: "For a moment he's tempted to give in to the pain and pass out, anything to get away from his body, broken and useless."
A/N: omfg HTML is a bitch. Anyway. Did a drabble based on a few different things: A Light on a Hill//Margot and the Nuclear So Sos and this quote -> "When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." -Rebecca age 8. So yeah, kinda squicky and corny. I also am pretty sure that the type of cast Heechul had on is not the kind mentioned here. Artistic license?
After the accident, Heechul gets regular visitors. Some he's happier to see than others. Most of the time he just smiles through a haze of pain, tries to let the others know he's okay, they're okay. Donghae cries nearly everytime he comes, Heechul feels strangely responsible. But when Kibum comes with him, he can tell by the way he grips Donghae's shoulders, he eases Donghae's hurt.
He doesn't have much dignity here. He tries to keep his head held high, working through the morphine to maintain his usual sarcastic charm. On days like today, though, it's too much of an effort. Heechul can feel the pain in his leg moving upwards in a slow burn to settle over his lower back, even his jaw hurts. But the medication just makes him sick and slow, so he grinds his teeth against the wave of pain that washes over him when the nurse adjusts his pillows.
Hankyung comes in just in time to see him choke on a scream, eyes wide, face ashen, when the orderly jostles his leg accidently. He knows he should yell, should make a fuss, but right now he's got to work just to stay conscious. He can taste the blood in his mouth, hear himself whimpering through clenched teeth.
For a moment he's tempted to give in to the pain and pass out, anything to get away from his body, broken and useless. But there's a hand in his, squeezing, and he opens his eyes to see Hankyung leaning over him, shouting, furious, "-don't care what they told you to do- I want your supervisor."
But Heechul fades out again, just as the nurse turns impossibly pale and shrinks back from Hankyung of all people. He wishes he had the energy to laugh.
Later on he wakes up, IV stinging as a different nurse pushes more morphine through. He opens his mouth to protest but he can't get the sounds out right, they stick to the roof of his mouth, tripping and tangling around his tongue. He panics, thrashes uselessly for a fraction of a second before he remembers why he's even confined here. The blinding pain reminding him exactly what he's lost. His mouth tastes bitter, anguish welling up at the back of his throat as he goes under.
He debates whether or not he should even open his eyes this time. But someone's talking to him, calling his name, "Heechul? Heechul, open your eyes."
He doesn't want to see another doctor ready to make a prognosis with no hope, another nurse here with a needle to put him out of his misery, not even his bandmates with their pity and pain shining uselessly in their eyes.
But the voice is incessant, irritatingly comforting. What the hell, he figures, eyelashes fluttering as they part. Heechul's vision swims and his stomach lurches, he lets a groan slip. A cool hand rests over his forehead in answer, "I'm sorry. I know you're not feeling well. Did they give you any more Reglan?"
Hankyung, he thinks, a faint smile around the corners of his mouth, The only one who could manage to keep my dosages straight. He shrugs carefully, reaching his arm out to grasp blindly for Hankyung's other hand.
When he finds it, Hankyung trails the pad of his thumb over Heechul's palm, gently pressing his curled fingers back to straighten out as he strokes upwards. The sensation is blissfully distracting.
He's almost afraid to try speaking again, but before he can worry, he finds himself breathing the first thing that comes to mind. Hankyung grips his hand almost painfully tight, lacing their fingers together as he presses his forehead against the back of Heechul's hand, "You're going to get better first. And- And then we can do this. We can be- I can give you a real reason to feel that way."
"Just shut up and say it back already."
"Heechul, you do realise that I can't-"
"Oh my God. I take it back. Must've been the medication. There's no way someone as dumb as you-"
It's a little hard to speak when Hankyung's lips are pressed against his, but he can't really remember what he was talking about anyway. Instead, he kisses back, marvelling at the soft heat of Hankyung's mouth and the tongue that dips in to wipe away the metallic aftertaste of his accident.
"I love you. I mean, too. I love you, too." he stumbles, his breath hot over Heechul's lips, eyes sincere. He pulls back further, smiling at the hand Heechul had wound into his hair.
Heechul tugs, surprisingly gentle, "Good. Now go get me a jell-o cup."
Hankyung comes back nearly fifteen minutes later. He considers throwing a tantrum, but forgets about it entirely when Hankyung hands him the jell-o and settles down at the end of the bed, blue nail polish in hand, and begins to paint the toes that peek out of his cast.
He's suddenly sure. The hurt will ease.